First of all, it’s important to note that I’m talking  about exhibitionism as a consensual kink  and not the  completely different and separate thing known as exhibitionistic disorder which according to officialdom

involves and I quote

deriving "recurrent and intense sexual arousal from the exposure of one's genitals to an unsuspecting person, usually a stranger-

it can be  called flashing or  indecent exposure –

so, it’s definitely not that that I’ll be talking about!

 

 Healthy exhibitionism shouldn’t be confused with any kind of disorder or problematic condition. In fact, exhibitionism can be considered as sex-positive and potentially erotic too.

So, it’s the healthy,   sex positive , mutually consensual type of Exhibitionism that I’m going to talk about .

What is it , why do it , who does it , where can you do it and what makes it enjoyable 

 

Many of us have at least a little bit of an exhibitionist streak in us so you could say it’s perfectly normal. Although turning the fantasy into reality is probably not as common but make no mistake it’s still out there alive and very well  and  frequently happening  through all kinds of lifestyles.

If  you’ve always secretly liked the thought of showing  yourself off to a willing and admiring audience, but maybe you’re a bit scared of   being identified or you don’t know where and how to start , keep listening  as  I may just have a few answers to help you on your way.   

 

Before we get to that, I think we have to accept that we are not all the same and the first thing I want to get off my chest is that I hate to be lumped into that group that some people irritatingly  refer to as   Most Women.

There really is no such group as

‘ most women’

I know  because I’ve met quite a few women in my life  and of course I am a woman myself  and apart from the basic physical attributes we share, the only other common denominator that I’ve found is that we are all different.

We are all female, but often that’s where the similarity ends.

 

So, with my topic of exhibitionism in mind, I can imagine some of you clinging to that most women crap and I can almost hear you saying yeah

 

‘Exhibitionism ? but most women are just not into that are they ?’

 

And honestly, even if lots of women are not into exhibitionism, what about the  other groups ? the minorities, the groups that can’t or won’t be lumped into most women?

Are they special are they odd ?

Or are they just other women?

Who cares – just lets accept that we are all different  ok  ??

and there’s nothing wrong with that //

you don’t have to conform  -. let’s be caring and respectful of course  but let’s be  raunchy and a little risqué too

but whatever you do

life is short   --   live it well.

 

 

Exhibitionism -it’s not just about Women

 

 There are of course plenty of men that are exhibitionists too and I’m really not talking about flashers, but rather men than enjoy the consensual kink of it all they’re doing it because people are looking and it feels good all-round.

 

Take The Dream boys – yeah ok Ladies, if you’ve ever  seen them you probably do want  to take them – I get it , I’ve seen them too – anyway

Fantastic UK male stripper show The Dream Boys got started  in 1987 that’s 35 years ago

these guys  have an enormous        erm appeal .. and they welcome audiences  over 18 all the way up to 100  - they welcome gays too  and clearly cater for  hen nights and birthdays etc etc and are very well received .

It’s interesting because  out there on the grapevine, We’ve heard that despite being very attractive , some of the guys in the group still have anxieties about how they look  – so just normal blokes then really

which is a relief .

Do you remember the film the Full Monty ? Tom Jones singing about leaving your hat on.

That was 10 years after the Dream boys started (in 1997)-  The film is about a group of out of work steel workers  who decided to form a strip tease act  to raise some money – it was a comedy but still touched on a few major issues  - like  depression and unemployment the film was a great success  and apparently grossed over $250 million dollars .

Of course, it was the Chippendales club In America that probably started the concept of male strippers and  that led on to LaBare in Dallas  in 78 and

Le 281 Club in Montreal  in 87 and then as I’ve said the Dream Boys in 1987 and Manpower , in Australia  in 1991 .

Its  a marvellous thought , all those hunky men , loving taking of their kit    for all of those adoring  and willing audiences… They must love doing it … and  it really speaks to that expression If you’ve got it flaunt  it !

I wonder if the performers and the audience get aroused  …   that’s got to a yes for some of them hasn’t it ?  and I wonder on balance who gets aroused the most  … maybe  I’ll try to get an interview to find out .

 

Ok So we’ve got to ask  … what’s so good about it? ….Exhibitionism that is?

Why might it be a turn on?

Do some people just like to show off or is there more to it than that?  

 

Let’s face it, it feels good to be told that you look good and invariably we get compliments for the way we look when we’ve made some sort of effort.

So the next step could be on a more personal level, which lets the person receiving the complement feel better still.   

You know like I Love those boots, then added on …You’ve got great legs,

And that compliment may just make you want to wear those boots or a shorter skirt again next time

 

I think at its core, it’s about appreciation, being appreciated. Confirmation that you’ve got it right.

And in some cases, that confirmation is that you are desirable  or  wanted  or both and the knowledge that just looking at you and your body  can make some people feel aroused   ..can be an awesome feeling in itself!

And who doesn’t like that ?

 

I come from the school of     … if you’ve got it flaunt it …

Maybe you can imagine it. Someone looks at you and gets aroused from the way you look . It could be from what you are showing , or maybe even if you are being  suggestive in the way you look, arousal could come from what you have covered up .

Arousal in that way is always in the eye of the beholder  of course, and as I’ve already said  we are all different, and thankfully different things can be a turn on .

 

So, when it gets right down to it, Exhibitionism  as a  consensual kink  is not that you want to look good –

Well not just that anyway…

But rather that you want to attract attention, to stimulate and to arouse and from that, get aroused yourself.

  

 

Dictionary

 

It’s interesting because one dictionary definition  I found said that Exhibitionism is just  a tendency to display one's abilities or to behave in such a way as to attract attention.. sounds cool

whilst others stated…

Exhibitionism is and I love this bit   - Exhibitionism is they say an art ( yes , an Art )  characterized by intense, sexually arousing fantasies urges or behaviours involving exposure of the individual's intimate parts . Well, that’s a bit more specific.

For the fan of exhibitionism, I rather think that it’s a heady mixture of all of it  – that’s to say  it’s about some exposure, attracting attention and with suitable encouragement   becoming aroused enough  to want to show more  and more .

I think it’s probably the same  for  male strippers like the Dream Boys who may just  ‘ get of ‘on the feeling of a bunch of horny women looking at their naked bodies just as much as  female pole dancers may want their audiences to fantasise about having sex with them.

And People, and I mean   men and women, who perform sex acts on videos and webcams may well become aroused by exposing themselves to an appreciative willing audience. Cam Girls ( and Boys ) live stream on the internet usually performing sex acts for money or gifts  but usually  for the attention too. As most performers  operate from home, they choose what and how much to reveal, and this can of course include what does the most to make the performer feel good, and they can feed off the audience reaction.

For some, just imagining that the audience is appreciative is enough to arouse But please do note the words I’m using … Consensual  and willing  -- everyone involved  must want it to happen otherwise, arousal just goes out of the window.

There’s actually a small section on my own Patreon pages which has some …what I call flirty images of yours truly, me Jessica . Those images are for the exhibitionist in me. You don’t have to look at them ,  but you can if you want to  and I hope you do

Of course, I want everyone that sees them to like them and maybe more than  like them .. some people  will tell me what they think, but please hold back on the negatives, I already know that I’m not perfect.

I’ve seen web sites where men and women can upload naked or semi naked images or even videos of themselves purely for others to look at.

There are not necessarily lots of face pics so the images can be anonymous , which means that if you’ve always wanted  to try at being an exhibitionist, you can make a start on one of those sites without giving too much away.

It seems like a safe environment to me in that  you don’t need to look at  the images if you don’t want to and you don’t need to show your face so it’s all consensual and there’s no costs or charges so no income involved apart from the sites which sell adverts . You can upload images as well as look at other people’s entries,. You can also join up with any number of different groups that focus on a fetish and post comments or images or both .To get the best from these sites,  you have to get involved which essentially just means posting comments and images and you can be revealing or not just as you choose.    Just like any social sites, there may be people on these sites that try to scam you or get you to go to another site, but my advice is  stick to the base site you’ve chosen  and see how things go.

There are other sites that promote web cams  and  whilst they seem to be mostly women ,  these sites  do support men too . The web - camers   pose and  undertake sexually based actions  and charge the watchers for the privilege . Again, it’s a consensual and willing  arrangement  which  seems like a sex positive pursuit if both sides enjoy what is happening.  

Of course, exhibitionism would be nothing without the voyeur.. another consensual kink that’s probably in all of us a little.

For those of you that are not sure , a voyeur on our  kink spectrum derives sexual pleasure from watching others when they are naked , semi naked or engaged in some kind of sexual activity.

Whilst voyeurism may take a number of forms, often the voyeur doesn’t actually interact with anyone … Instead, they just look at images or videos on web sites or maybe they interact verbally via computer  usually  watching things from a safe and anonymous distance.  This sometimes involves a masturbation fantasy during or after watching  and

If you are into edging   … anyone out there into edging ?    well, I guess voyeurism  or fantasies about voyeurism can be a part of that  too

So, the  exhibitionists and the voyeurs  are doing it purely for the feeling that they get  from doing it  of course.

The images on those sites I mentioned can be ‘loved’ and commented on too and believe me, there are all sorts of people , all age groups  all shapes all sizes displaying all sorts of things, and if nothing else , it proves that there really is someone for everyone!

Just to be clear , there are  probably many sites  like the ones that I’ve mentioned  but FetLife and The Cage  are the only ones that I have any experience of.

If the thought of exhibitionism has pushed any of your buttons, it’s probably best to start in the realm of fantasy before jumping into the real thing.

Just like with anything sexual, any kinks or new things that you’d like to try , if you’re in a relationship, it’s a great start to  talk about  it with your lover or partner.

You could start with planning to be watched, you could try swingers’ clubs or  similar  or you could simply  perform a sexy strip tease  for your lover  to enjoy. If you want  to just explore   the kink on your own, always think of safety first and don’t give away any personal information.

Have a look at the sites I mentioned as a start .. it costs nothing to join  and it could be an eye opener . You could also start a twitter account , which can be great for   sharing thoughts and images in a random and anonymous way.

 

Look online and You will find many kink and fetish style clubs that would welcome you. Once you are familiar with that club, if exhibitionism is your thing, these clubs can be a great way to grab attention and fuel your kink.

It may be that members of the club meet in person as a group or perhaps everything is online, either way  

You’ll be able to wear tight or revealing clothes or costumes that fit with the ethos of the club and clothes that make you feel sexy and that I’m sure will get you plenty of attention.

 

So that’s It – and in summary   - Exhibitionism as a consensual kink can be  very sex positive and can feel really good  and be an arousing experience.   

in essence , its exposure of some sort, to a willing audience,   attracting attention and maybe with suitable encouragement   becoming aroused enough  to want to show more .

So ok, showing off your bits and pieces for anyone to look at is not everyone’s cup of tea  and that’s perfectly fine. but don’t judge anyone that does enjoy it that aspect of consensual kink  .. particularly if you haven’t tried it yourself

What follows is a short story – an example of Exhibitionism and of how it can be a turn on for the Exhibitionist and the Voyeur   - the watched and the watchers.

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If you’d like to read a short story on the subject of Exhibitionism , just click HERE to become a subscriber and enter Exhibitionism in the notes box.

Please do bear in mind that this is an explicit story for over 18’s ONLY