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The honest answer is NO and, as the owner of an online sex store with more than 5000 different sex toys available, perhaps I’m shooting myself in the foot.

But the honest truth is that couples and indeed anyone can have an enjoyable sex life without the use of any elements of, shall we say, alternative or additional stimulation.

Although as ever in these dilemmas, the answer to; ‘Are sex toys necessary?’, depends on who is asking and what they want from sex, so it’s probably not as simple as a yes or no answer.

For example, a man and woman can find all the passion and fire that they need from a ‘vanilla style sexual relationship’, which involves hands and mouths fingers and tongues, touching and stroking with and sometimes without penetration. If you are a solo player, it can be just the same; masturbation, edging, exploring and using your own body, your hands and fingers to stimulate and take yourself to climax.

When it comes to adding something else - perhaps it’s like a curry - if it’s got the right ingredients and it’s well cooked, it can be a great meal, but add a side dish, spice it up a little with some extra heat and more spice it could be even more tasty and so more memorable - and sex with added sex toys can be just the same! Everyone can add heat and spice by choosing and using the right toys in the right setting and that passion and those sensations can go through the roof!

So perhaps we should change the question and instead ask when should I introduce sex toys and what can I expect if/when I do?

First of all, it’s worth noting that, whilst Sex Toys can help to add some heat and a definite sprinkle of magic, Sex Toys are intended to enhance an already pleasurable experience, in other words to make the thrill of sex even better than it already is.

So if sex toys are a new thing for you/your relationship, make sure that you let your partner know that playing with sex toys won’t replace what you already have, remind him/her that you already really enjoy your sexual encounters and now you’ve heard that having a play with some sex toys might just add to the experience.

According to a recent survey from sex toy manufactures Lelo, when asked: ‘what can we do to make sex feel better,’ respondents mentioned edging, meditation, aphrodisiacs, but the most votes went to regular masturbation and sex toys usage (62% and 70% respectively) and, apparently, sex toys are most often combined with edging and masturbation.

When should you introduce sex toys?

If you’ve heard about and, more importantly, thought about using sex toys, maybe now is the time to try. Perhaps you’ve always wondered what a vibrator or masturbator would feel like, maybe you’ve fantasized about being tied up or spanking your partner, or could it be that you can’t seem to orgasm from penetrative sex and want to try something more? There really are so many reasons to want to try, but whatever it is for you, thank goodness, sex toys are much more mainstream than they used to be. Today it really is no longer a taboo subject, so it’s completely ok to wonder about how sex toys could enhance things for you. You should know that you are not alone, it’s perfectly natural to want to enjoy sex and so, making sex feel better is likely to be high up on everyone’s list, but do remember, that sex toys are secondary and are only meant to enhance things.

The down side to choosing sex toys is that there really are so very many different items to choose from that you can be spoilt for choice and end up being overwhelmed by it all and therefore decide not to bother. So it’s probably best to make it simple to start with and consider the appeal and the power of three items.

Three well chosen items can be a great start to all types of sex play and, just like that other magical threesome, Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness, the power of just three sex toys can work well for couples, for solo play, for Dominance and Submission and for BDSM play, and they don’t need to cost a fortune either.

What can you expect from sex toys?

Well firstly, it’s not a competition. No penis can duplicate the vibrations of the vibrator and no vibrator can replace the feeling of a penis – sex toys are intended to illicit something different.

There is such pleasure to be gained from the myriad of toys and implements out there in the marketplace so, if you start on this journey, you can definitely expect to experience many new sensations. If you are in the right frame of mind, Solo Masturbation for both men and women can feel marvellous – add a vibrator, a masturbator, clamps, a ring or cage and your sex toys can and will likely enhance all and any sensations. For couples, a toy kit is a great place to start as here you are likely to find, cock rings, vibes, dildos sleeves and more depending on the kit you choose. If you like the idea of a little kink, whips and collars, chains and clamps could be right up your street. But still the power of just three items will go a long way towards experiencing new sensations and is a great beginning.

So you can expect a huge array of sex toys to choose from, and once you’ve taken the plunge and tried and played with sex toys, it’s likely to be an experience that you are sure to remember and want to often repeat.

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6 tips to help smooth the way to get sex toys into your sex life.

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The first thing to note is that if you and/or your lover have never considered using sex toys to enhance your playtime, you have chosen the very best time to start as there are so many sensations on so many different levels to experience.

A Little Touch of Magic

Whilst sex toys can help to add a little sprinkle of magic, Sex Toys are intended to enhance an already very pleasurable experience, in other words to make the thrill of sex even better than it already is. So make sure that you let your partner know that playing with sex toys won’t replace what you already have, remind him/her that you already really enjoy your sexual encounters and now you’ve heard that having a play with some sex toys might just add to the experience.

Something New

Most people love to try something new, new shoes to make legs look longer,developing a six-pack to look stronger… this could be a great opportunity to try something new together. and add even more fireworks to your sex life and once you start to explore and experiment, you will wonder why you waited for so long to start.

Let’s Talk about Sex

A great way to broach the subject is to have a healthy chat about sex in general. You could try a little reminisce ‘ I was thinking back to the first time we got together and how damn hot I felt, do you remember ?, it was so erotic, so horny.I love what we do now but I’ve been thinking of different ways to feel that good. ’It’s always a good idea to share conversations about fantasies. For example you could include how much you’d love to see your lover use a vibrator while you watch or how you’ve imagined blindfolding your lover while you stroke his/her body. With any luck, your partner will love the sound of what you describe and share their fantasies too which of course could well include the use of Adult Toys-but let’s face it, unless you broach the subject, you will never know.

Have Fun

Depending on you and your lover and what you are into or fantasize about being into, there really is a huge variety of toys to chose from, all of which can and probably will enhance your sexual pleasure. Having said that, it’s best to start slowly, maybe trying out vibrators and cock rings, fluffy cuffs and blindfolds before progressing on to the more ‘hardcore products’ like fucking machines, whips, clamps and swings.

 

No Pressure

Don’t get hung up on it though, sex toys are not the be all and end all - the most important thing is that you and your lover are happy in what you do. So all talk and references to including sex toys in your sexual relationship should be fun and not too serious or pressurised in any way. Whatever happens, you need to respect your lover’s decision. Some people decide that sex toys are not for them and that’s ok. You can still explain why you think it would be fun and may be re visit the subject at some future point

Missionary not for Everyone

Lots of sex-related stuff seems to be controversial for some people & that includes things like bondage or discipline play or even rough sex and BDSM. But it’s worth knowing that whilst slow and sensual can be marvellous, not everybody wants that all the time. Rough sex can include a whole range of things and & as long as it’s consensual, I guess it just depends what turns you on.

A good way to find out what appeals to your partner and what he/she would like to try is to ask or just simply be bold and admit what you would love to try a fantasy of yours that includes a sex toy or two. You might be surprised and get a very favourable reaction.

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